Episode No. 24
Where to listen:
What inspired this episode:
I was inspired to cover this topic when one of my podcast episodes (Episode 23) Received a lot of attention. While I still struggle to be direct about my thoughts at times, I am proud I stepped out of my comfort zone and if I hadn't decided to make a podcast I wouldn't have been able to cover more of the underlooked conversations in personal development. I hesitated to go for my goal to start my YouTube channel and podcast because there were so many people, especially within the niche I wanted to lean into, but then I remembered key things that helped me to get over my fear of getting started.
Questions I wanted to explore:
How to get started on a goal?
Why is it so hard to just start?
How do I get started on a goal?
Why do people hesitate to take the first step to their goals?
Why am I struggling to take the first step toward my goal?
How does having a scarcity mindset contribute to the fear of trying?
How does having imposter syndrome contribute to the fear of trying?
Why am I so afraid of the unknown?
Episode Description:
In this episode, we talk about letting go of the fear of getting started. One of the biggest reasons so many people hold themselves back from their dreams and goals is because they are worried about the competitive space. They constantly hear an industry is too saturated, that there is no room and that to really make it they have to be original. This episode discusses why it is okay to try something regardless of the competitive space because it is more important to be unique than original. There is so much value in allowing your perspective to be seen. As an example, we also discuss remakes and retelling of shows and movies to connect to a pop-culture example of why uniqueness works (Caution: a very hot take is discussed). Remakes are modern examples as to why you can do something that has already been done and still make it unique and the psychological appeal of familiarity.
BONUS CONTENT-
Ways We Avoid Executing Our Goals
“Give yourself permission to live a big life. Step into who you are meant to be. Stop playing small. You’re meant for big things.”
That is the quote I selected for this year. Like many people, I like to use the 12-week year to stay on track to execute my goals. I designed my template on notion and one section I added was a quote that I felt represented what I want the upcoming year to be about. Playing small is something many of us have to unlearn especially when you come from an “accept anything” generational line. I had a lot of thought about this topic because the podcast episode is essentially about starting something even if what you want to start is something that already exists. When we think we think we can’t do something, you are shrinking ourselves with a scarcity mindset and fear of failure. I want to continue the conversation with the way we avoid executing our goals, so be sure to check out the episode if you haven’t already before continuing on.
Note: As requested I designed a shareable template that is a public link based on what I did, you can get it here for free
1. Waiting for the "Perfect" Conditions
Who typically exhibits this behavior:
Detail-oriented individuals who value precision
People with high standards and fear of failure
Those who struggle with imposter syndrome
Individuals who tend to over-prepare
When this habit becomes harmful:
Projects never get started
Opportunities pass by while waiting for "perfect timing"
Skills remain undeveloped due to delayed practice
Motivation diminishes over time
How to combat this behavior:
Set small, achievable starting points
Create a "good enough to start" checklist
Focus on progress over perfection
Document lessons learned from imperfect attempts
Questions to ask yourself:
What's the minimum I need to get started?
What could I learn by starting now?
How has waiting for perfect conditions held me back before?
What's the worst that could happen if I start before everything is "perfect"?
2. Overthinking the First Step
Who typically exhibits this behavior:
Analytical thinkers who prefer extensive planning
People who struggle with decision-making
Those who fear making the wrong choice
Individuals who get overwhelmed by options
When this habit becomes harmful:
Endless research without action
Loss of momentum and enthusiasm
Missing time-sensitive opportunities
Increased anxiety about starting
How to combat this behavior:
Set a firm deadline for decision-making
Break down the first step into micro-tasks
Use the "2-minute rule" - if it takes less than 2 minutes, do it now
Limit research time to avoid information overload
Questions to ask yourself:
What's the smallest possible action I can take right now?
Will this decision matter in a week, month, or year?
What would I advise a friend in this situation?
What's the cost of not taking action?
3. Lack of Intentionality
Who typically exhibits this behavior:
People who are easily distracted by daily tasks
Those who struggle with time management
Individuals who react to life rather than plan for it
People who often say "I'm too busy" without examining why
When this habit becomes harmful:
Days pass without meaningful progress on goals
Important priorities get buried under urgent tasks
Life feels chaotic and out of control
Constant feeling of being overwhelmed
How to combat this behavior:
Schedule regular planning sessions
Create morning and evening routines
Use time-blocking for important tasks
Regular review and adjustment of priorities
Questions to ask yourself:
How does this activity align with my goals?
Am I choosing my actions or just reacting?
What's the most important thing I should focus on today?
How can I be more deliberate with my time?
4. Negative perspective of Goals
Who typically exhibits this behavior:
People who have experienced past failures or setbacks
Individuals with low self-confidence or self-doubt
Those who compare themselves frequently to others
People who were discouraged from taking risks in the past
When this habit becomes harmful:
Self-fulfilling prophecies of failure
Avoiding challenging but rewarding opportunities
Decreased motivation and enthusiasm
Limited personal and professional growth
How to combat this behavior:
Break large goals into smaller, manageable tasks
Celebrate small wins and progress
Practice positive self-talk and affirmations
Keep a success journal to track achievements
Questions to ask yourself:
What evidence do I have that this goal is truly impossible?
How have I overcome challenges in the past?
What's the smallest step I can take toward this goal?
How would I encourage a friend facing this challenge?
5. Avoiding Responsibility
Who typically exhibits this behavior:
People who frequently blame external circumstances
Those who struggle with self-discipline
Individuals who avoid setting clear deadlines
People who resist tracking their progress
When this habit becomes harmful:
Goals remain perpetually unachieved
Patterns of procrastination become ingrained
Personal growth stagnates
Relationships and commitments suffer
How to combat this behavior:
Create specific, measurable milestones
Find an accountability partner or mentor
Track progress daily or weekly
Set up regular check-ins with yourself
Questions to ask yourself:
What aspects of this situation are truly within my control?
How am I contributing to my current results?
What systems can I put in place to stay accountable?
What would change if I took full responsibility for my outcomes?
Relevant Topic(s) Links
The Cost of Playing Small
Playing small isn't just a personal choice - it's a decision that impacts generations. Society often portrays ambitious dreams as unrealistic or audacious, but the true cost lies in settling for less than our potential.
No one chooses to get born into this world and you don’t choose who your bloodline is, but being born into a family that consistently plays it safe, settles, and acts small is something that alters your brain chemistry and your overall perception of the world.
I’ve been identifying the root causes of my triggers and unfortunately one of them is not something easily removed from my life. And even identifying them as a trigger for me fills me with guilt because I know how much that person means to the person that is one of the most important people in my life.
This person triggers me because of how they talk and ask about my life because I know it’s not out of care, but judgment about work. I am going to get vulnerable for a second because from my time from my senior year of high school up until 6 months into my post-graduation, I struggled so much physically and mentally. Mentally I had so much to unlearn because from middle school to high school I hated myself. Being in that environment every day created this dark state and I was constantly on edge until I went to college. The time of July 2019 until January 2020, was probably the only time in a long time I felt peace. It took a hit from there for obvious reasons and some lesser-known details.
However I can’t disregard 2020 or the pandemic era as a terrible time because oddly enough that was a time I was the most spiritually connected, i was confident in what I was putting out so my blog was doing well at the time, I had a lot more professional opportunities and it was the start of moving away from the darkness high school created.
The downside was my physical health problems became more eminent. I had similar problems in high school, but I always ignored them once they passed but in college, there were all these new elements to it. To this day, I am still trying to manage this because there is a lot of unknowns so finding a solution has been rough, and even with following through on adjustment, there are still challenging days or even weeks.
So when other people in this life aspect have asked HOW I am as opposed to WHAT I am doing and if they do ask what I am doing they also offer a solution, how else am I supposed to view this person other than judgmental? It’s ironic when someone who struggles with health problems doesn’t even consider how yours may be influencing your life. It has been an obvious pressure point with this person because it’s insane to me how I can wake up every weekday at 4:30 am, take 10,000-15,000 steps at least 6/7 days per week, exercise for 45 minutes for 5 days per week, build a digital portfolio, attend resume workshops, speak to career counselors, tries to overcome my personality constraints to network, does therapy weekly, is constantly looking for solutions while working towards my passions can still be seen as lazy and not trying enough.
When it comes to my professional life, I struggle in those spaces because in terms of my family, I’ve never seen it done. They always do the “practical” thing and because I am not doing the typical thing (but it’s also taking a long time to happen), I get heavily judged. My feelings are this: Even if something is harder to get into or it takes some more time because I am the starting point in terms of my bloodline, I would rather do that level of hard. What is the hardest thing in my eyes is to live a life that I am unsatisfied with because I’ve seen with my own eyes what it produces.
The reality is that playing small perpetuates generational patterns that create a devastating ripple effect across families and communities. When we limit ourselves, we unknowingly pass down restricted mindsets to future generations, creating a legacy of unfulfilled potential and deep-seated resentment. This pattern manifests through fear-based decision-making that affects not just our immediate choices but shapes the worldview of generations to come. We internalize and then transmit beliefs about what's "practical" versus what's possible, often without questioning their validity or origin.
This cycle becomes particularly insidious when we choose to play small, as we're not just constraining our own lives - we're actively reinforcing limiting beliefs that will impact our children and their children. The pattern becomes self-perpetuating: people settle for "safe" choices instead of pursuing genuine aspirations, systematically avoid risks that could lead to meaningful growth, prioritize others' judgments over personal fulfillment, and continue to perpetuate the myth that maintaining the status quo somehow equals stability. This creates a continuous loop of diminished expectations and unrealized dreams.
The journey to break generational patterns isn't easy. It often means facing judgment, navigating guilt, and pushing through discomfort. However, the alternative - living below our potential and passing those limitations to future generations - carries a much heavier cost.
Remember: Choosing growth isn't about being ungrateful for what we have. It's about honoring our potential and creating positive change that extends far beyond our individual lives. I hope you enjoyed this post and found it interesting. Also if you like my content it would mean the world to me if you would also subscribe to my YouTube channel, my Pinterest, and my TikTok account. On YouTube, I have the most inspirational content from Lifestyle Design posts to Digital "open when..." letters to boost your moods. I also keep a copy of my podcast episodes (which is also available on Spotify). I decided that I am honoring what feels right to me and continuously working on building the life of my dreams and helping others do the same. Don’t forget to share this if you feel inspired and I will have more content for you soon.
Until next time butterflies 🦋
Xoxo,
Lay 💋
Timestamps
Section | Timestamp | Notes |
Introduction | 00:00 |
|
Having perspective is valuable - Being original vs being unique | 01:04 |
|
Storytelling and Rage over remakes: People's issue with diversity doesn't make sense (Hot Take) | 02:56 | |
Scarcity Mindset and Imposter Syndrome | 18:56 |
|
Card pull | 25:05 |
|
What I am grateful for + What's new | 28:06 |
Resources:
https://www.simplylay.com/post/step-away-from-a-scarcity-mindset https://www.verywellmind.com/imposter-syndrome-and-social-anxiety-disorder-4156469 https://www.verywellmind.com/mere-exposure-effect-7368184#:~:text=Familiarity%20Makes%20Processing%20Easier,in%20the%20world%20around%20us. https://statmodeling.stat.columbia.edu/2022/01/11/suspense-in-music-suspense-in-stories-how-do-they-differ/
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