Episode No. 25
Where to listen:
What Inspired this Episode:
As I am creating this it is May 24th and by the time it is ready to post it will be Memorial Day, aka the unofficial start of summer. May 23rd was the end of my Year 2 of 2024 and I wanted to do a Mid-year review based on what was happening in life and give some updates. I asked myself questions like the following and like how I explained in this post:
1. How many goals did I have? How many were long-term? How many more short-term?
2. Did I accomplish any of my short-term goals?
3. Did I contribute to any of my long-term goals?
4. What are the top 3 significant lessons you learned?
5. In what ways did you change in the last 6 months?
6. After Reviewing, are there any goals I will no longer want to pursue this year?
7. What are the 3 goals I will prioritize in the next 6 months?
8. What actions can I take in the summer to contribute to the goals I want to?
Topics I wanted to explore:
What is lifestyle design?
How to design a wellness-focused lifestyle?
Tips for intentional living
How to create sustainable lifestyle changes?
Ways to align daily habits with personal values
Navigating life changes in your 20s
Quarter-life crisis coping strategies
Setting realistic goals in your 20s
Personal development in your 20s
Building healthy habits as a young adult
Tips for consistent goal setting
What is gentle productivity?
How to break the all-or-nothing mindset?
How to be consistent with wellness goals?
What are wellness trends 2025?
How to maintain wellness habits?
What is a wellness enthusiast?
How to balance self-improvement and self-acceptance?
Tips for sustainable wellness routines
What are INs and OUTs lists?
How to make an INs and OUTs list?
Wellness INs and OUTs 2025
Seasonal INs and OUTs ideas
How to use INs and OUTs for personal growth?
BONUS CONTENT:
"INs" and "OUTs" as a Wellness enthusiast
"INs and OUTs" is a trend where people list what they're embracing (INs) versus what they're leaving behind (OUTs) for a particular time period or aspect of life. It's a way to set intentions and make conscious choices about habits, behaviors, and practices they want to either incorporate or eliminate. In the episode, I did a seasonal “INs and Outs” list but for bonus content, I wanted to create the ins and outs list more rooted in how I currently identify.
If I had to describe myself in a few words it would be:
Creative
Ambitious
Emotional
Reflective
Open-Minded
However, in the center of those words, I would contribute to my identity as a wellness enthusiast. For me being someone who likes self-improvement and wellness, goes beyond health it is about creating a life that I feel excited about every day. Despite the things out of my control and triggers, I want to believe I can make a beautiful life for myself.
I know that sounds idealistic but after years of being in a negative headspace because I felt so trapped in my life, having this mindset where I have a belief that I could contribute to my life in a positive way keeps me going.
In this wellness context:
• INs represent new healthy habits and positive changes to adapt
• OUTs represent habits or behaviors to minimize or stop
INs
Daily movement
This is something I’ve been practicing and some days are still imperfect because I cannot predict the days I have migraines or energy crashes. However, this is more about the ability to show up in whatever energy level I have. In the past, I always got so upset at myself for not being able to make it through the full workout or not being able to do things more intensely to keep up with what I was seeing on social media. I was a teenager in the era where it was small waists and large glutes as the perfect body frame so I was exposed to content that was like “Do this workout and you’ll have an hourglass figure in a week”. I am so grateful that in this era of wellness, we recognized that health is more than a specific shape and that we have more open conversations about what also influences us outside of working out ( Protein intake, fiber intake, gut health, sleep, stress, hormones, the role of how upbringing and how that influenced our relationship with food etc. Daily movement no matter how small or slow is still very effective and getting to at least a point where my activity level for the day is still higher than sedentary is enough to make me feel like I contributed to my life.
Combining steps and entertainment
I am adding to the point of daily movement because by doing this I am following through with my goal. When I got my watch to track my steps in October 2024, to get in more steps I would scroll on social media and walk back and forth my home or use my mini stepper. However, since walking that way occasionally made me dizzy and my calves were starting to hurt from the stepper, I decided to invest in a walking pad. I am a home workout girly and I knew with winter coming up, I did not want to walk in the cold (even though yes in the winter it is good to go outside to get vitamin D and be exposed to natural light, I just hate having to layer for walks and I know I would use that as an excuse to not fulfill my step goal). I can honestly say it was the best decision I’ve made. I’ve been using it both at 5:30 am and after dinner, typically in the morning use I listen to a podcast or an audiobook. In the evening, I am typically watching videos on YouTube or using one of the streaming sites while I am walking. Sometimes, I even use my Kindle and read a book while walking ( I believe this is best for a book you aren’t trying to learn from, but a book you are using for entertainment purposes). In the past, I would see people use the walking pad during their jobs but personally using it during working would be too much of a distraction for me because I do too much typing, so saving it for more mindless activities like scrolling Pinterest or TikTok, catching up on TV shows or books just makes more sense to me and gets me excited to use it.
Slow reading
If you want to hear more about my book-ish hobby click the video above. I mentioned it briefly during the yap session but I realized I needed to slow down how much books I was reading. I started to read again for fun instead of just learning back at the end of 2022 and since I was in school in 2023, I wanted to challenge myself to read more in my post grad era. 2024 my goal was to read 6-8 books a month which would be about 72-96 books. I basically was trying to double what I read in 2023 because on average I read about 3-4 books per month. I ended up reading 60 books in 2024 which averaged out to be 5 books per month.
However, the problem was it was getting confusing, I was reading multiple at once just to hit the goal and on top of that I wasn’t retaining much of what I read. I realized this when I went to my first Midnight Book release party and my favorite author (and I mean at this point I read almost all of the series besides the first one she did and I did end up reading it at the end of the year) had these like fill-in word crosses about her books. I knew i wouldn’t know all of it because some of the questions were about her first series but books that I read and enjoyed I couldn’t recall details from. It was a wake-up call to me because hobbies are supposed to be something to add joy in your life but honestly, it was stressing me out not to hit a certain number each month. On top of that, other goals I had for my life just weren’t being fulfilled. So yes I still have an ideal TBR of the year but I don’t really have a necessary reading goal. I listed 4 books per month as a focus point but it’s more so there as ideally, this is what I want to read about as opposed to I need to read them that month or else.
More check-ins to readjust
Something I did last year was loosely follow the “lunar living” system along with the 12-week year and other goal-setting systems. I noticed the Year I got the most done was the ones I was actively checking in. So this year I decided to not just follow checking in on the New Moon and Full Moon each month. I created the template in advance so I have New Moon check-in, Waxing Moon check-in (which has 3 days to check in), Full Moon Check-in, and Waning Moon check-in (which also has 3 days to check in). That means at least 8 days a month, I am checking in to make sure I am progressing. I like lunar living because it adds an emotional/ spiritual appeal and I am considering on every Monday of the 5th week and 9th week to do a full evaluation of my goals to make sure they are still aligned and if I am paying attention to one goal more than the others to re-adjust. The reason why this is a major "in" is because it is so easy for goals to fly under the radar. Like yes at some points of your life, it should just be about being and existing in the foundation you laid out instead of constantly improving, but not every goal is made for you to improve in the first place. Goals in my opinion are what add spice to your life and when things start to get runt-like because you were so hyper fixated on your goal to develop your life, you forget about the goal that you set to experience more out of life.
Creating a value-based system
I talk about this briefly in my latest podcast episode (Micro Habits for Macro changes) but the next episode on January 27th will be a deep dive one how to create an effective system and what I did to create mine. So be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow the podcast. Overall, this is a major in because I realized just taking people’s advice on time management wasn’t working out and I decided to create a formula so you know what works for you. My current system feels right for me because there is a structure to my day but within the structure there is flexibility and that eliminates having to analyze what to do if something beyond my control happens. Also having a system tied to something you already feel strongly about makes it easier to work with in the long term.
Having more fruits and vegetables throughout the day
Again something I picked up last summer. The problem is winter does not always have the fruits I like available, so instead of having it with every meal as I usually do in the summer, I just to have 2-3 different fruits and/or vegetables. This is an "in" because the wellness community does talk about why high protein is good for most people but not enough people encourage having fruits and or vegetables that our bodies need. High protein is great for muscle repair, satiety, and maintaining lean body mass, but fruits and vegetables provide essential vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and fiber that protein alone cannot supply. Additionally, fruits and vegetables add volume to meals without excessive calories, helping with portion control while still feeling satisfied. They also provide natural prebiotics that feed beneficial gut bacteria, supporting overall digestive and mental health.
Having a stronger Faith practice
As mentioned before, I always had a difficult relationship with faith because it requires not needing proof. Another thing about it that I haven’t talked much about is how I distanced myself from it because I felt excluded from it. Growing up it felt like I had to do things a specific way or else I couldn’t really be part of it. Now as I rediscover my faith, I let go of this idea that created this all-or-nothing type of relationship so I don’t step away from it. The feeling I get is similar to how I felt identifying as a wellness enthusiast because I felt excluded because my way of doing wellness things wasn’t as aesthetic. So it is a pattern I am working on so I can participate in things that are important to me without feeling rejected initially causing me to step back. Just like my wellness identity, it is something meant to be personal to me and my experience in my life, and just because I go about it in a different way than what others categorize as good doesn’t take away from my connection to it and how I express it. So this being "in" has more of a deeper meaning behind it than just following something just because I’ve seen others do it, it is also about recognizing a trigger (the feeling of not belonging because I don’t reflect something perfectly) to prevent a bad habit (excluding myself to avoid feeling rejected).
Being seen trying
I was supposed to publish a blog post about the decision to stop hiding but due to unexpected changes in my schedule, I pushed it to February since I have more immediate posts to complete this month. So one of my goals is to transform my self-image by doing things that would make me feel confident. A huge part of that aspect is putting myself out there regardless of how ready I feel. I’ll talk about this more in the Out portion but I realized what I was doing wasn’t solitude but hiding because I wasn’t living up to who I should be and the only time I felt worthy of being around others or even posting content was if I am a specific way or have specific things. I always felt so embarrassed because it felt like I was in a transitional period for longer than I should be and showing up for the dreams and relationships I had felt nearly impossible because of my self-image. So doing things regardless of imperfections in the process, is a huge IN to push me out of my comfort zone.
OUTs
Rotting in bed or on the couch on low-energy days
As mentioned I’ve had health problems for a while that I don’t understand and to this day I don’t know why this experience is happening. I have gotten some clues, but to be 100% sure I need to go to a specialist and the one I found that checks my boxes (works with my insurance, being a woman, being in an area that I can get to easily, etc.) went on maternity leave so I don’t know if or when she’ll be back and I haven’t been able to find another specialist that has checked all my boxes so I just have to wait. In the meantime, I’ve been just coping with my health issues and finding ways to work with myself instead of against myself. However some days, in the past I gave myself too much grace to a point where it was creating stagnancy. I felt like I was rotting, but I also wasn’t doing it intentionally. It was more like so much of the day was gone after having a migraine for the majority of the day and feeling like I already wasted it. Bed rotting was a trend in 2023 and people do say it promotes health but only if done in a specific way ( I’ll provide some readings and videos below about it). While my experience wasn’t that extreme, I just wasn’t doing anything that was beneficial. Instead of creating something like a blog post, a short story, journaling, reading, bracelet making, completing a puzzle book, or doing any of the other responsibilities (both as work or feel-good productivity activities), I was either asleep or scrolling too much and just not doing enough of what would actually add value into my life. However, my feeling of it is that it feels like a gateway to depression. Instead, I have a list of doable activities depending on my symptoms and have “gentle days” instead of just not doing anything just because most of the day passed and I was finally regaining energy and the migraine went away. Of course, I still honor my body cues, but honoring what I need to do to nourish doesn’t equate to rotting.
References:
Eating too close to when I plan to sleep
This is something I did a lot a few years ago because I got home around 7 pm and then because I instantly needed to shower when I got in (if you use public transportation you know the feeling of wanting to wash off being in a packed vehicle off of you. So by the time I ate dinner, it would be 8 pm - 9 pm and I know for some people that is a normal time but I realized that doesn’t work for me. I would sleep so uncomfortable when that happened and wake up so sick to eat but then have to force myself to eat because if I didn’t eat in the morning I wouldn’t be able to eat until noon and I would struggle to function through class. During my post-grad era, I realized having a specific eating window from when I woke up until 5 pm- 6 pm and then walking after eating dinner allowed me to sleep without feeling nauseous. Improving my sleep quality is important to me also being able to wake up hungry so I can have the appetite for a protein-rich breakfast before my morning workout.
Rushing through books to read a certain amount a month
This was already explained in the “Slow reading” paragraph above. I just want to read more intentionally and not rush through a book for the sake of a reading goal. Reading should not feel like this competition and whether I read more or less this year doesn’t take away from that aspect of my identity.
Falling off from goals because they were too intense
I have learned over the years it is more important to set a goal that you can be consistent with over a goal that is intense. That is personally why I would never do 75 hard because it is intense with the intent to push people to be motivated to do those changes but intensity doesn’t motivate me. If a goal is too intense I recognize it from my check-ins and can break it down further or see which aspect of it is creating resistance.
Sharing updates before things were solidified
Oversharing is something that is very natural to me because I kinda grew up with social media. I have gotten better at sharing mainly things that have happened or low-stake things that I am currently doing (like my goal for daily movement or cooking more) instead of what I am planning to do or the big things I am working on (again I know many people do this for the community aspect and to keep them motivated). However In my life outside the digital world, I tend to tell my family and close friends things, and then all of a sudden it doesn’t work out, so I am saying things less because even though I love and care for these people in my life, I also am aware that many of them think differently than I do and a lot more times more negative. So while I love them dearly, I also feel like I can’t tell them things because it feels like spirituality they are putting negative beliefs on them. Anyone who has worked to change their limiting beliefs knows how hard it is to still talk to certain people because energetically you feel very misaligned. So until I feel like the person and I are energetically aligned and have a similar mindset, I’ll keep things to myself until I see how it plays out.
Conditional confidence
I had a realization the other day that the way I show up is very conditional, based on how I perceive my life and myself. If I feel insecure about money, I don’t want to make plans with my friends. If I don’t feel good about my body, I don’t want to leave the house until I’m back in a body I feel comfortable in. If I don’t like how my face looks or if I feel like my life has gotten to uninteresting, I don’t want to make content. Of all things, I feel like being insecure sucks everything out of life and the truth is for the longest time my confidence was very conditional. Now I find confidence through my efforts instead of basing it on whether I have reached the outcome or not. I can’t feel shame or insecurity if I know I am actively doing something about it. My motto is now “As long as I am trying something, something will happen”. Focusing too heavily on the outcome and circumstances was the fastest way to demotivate myself and create this “Stop Start” cycle. Honestly, if I just readjusted and continued instead of quitting for months on end because I wasn’t seeing the results I thought I needed to or be in the condition I needed to be in to do something that contributes to my vision, I would be a lot further along. Confidence shouldn’t feel like a yo-yo but like a foundation that you can stand on even on your hardest days and so that is why conditional confidence is a huge "out".
Being reactive to my triggers
The saying goes- you can’t control your triggers. You can only work on understanding them and control your reaction to them. Being reactive does cause us to take actions we most times regret because we aren’t giving ourselves enough time to process in a beneficial way. Yes sometimes you will have to think fast and react on the spot but if you train your ability to process, your reactions will be more responsible than reckless most of the time.
Fearing my emotions
"You feel a lot, which means sometimes you're going to hurt a lot, but it also means that you're gonna live a life that is emotionally rich and really beautiful.”
This was a quote from Devi’s therapist from the Netflix show Never Have I Ever. I used to hate how much I felt because it felt at times that I was too much for myself and if I felt that way, I couldn’t imagine how people who had the option to go as please felt. However, it is something that I grew to love about myself because, at the end of the day, it makes me a much better writer and creator. After all, I am taking in the world in a much more profound way. While yes I will work on not being reactive to the things that make me feel negative, that doesn’t mean I won’t take it in as a lesson to be learned or a challenge to be completed. As for the good things, I want to keep feeling them just as strong but instead of worrying about how long the feelings are going to last, I want to feel grateful for having the opportunity to experience it so I can know what good moments feel like for me. I am so tired of fearing them just because I might get hurt when all I really need to do is to understand each one (even the ones with positive connotations) has both a negative and positive side and I can learn a lot from the feelings.
So that is my current list as a wellness girlie. Keep in mind this is subject to change based on being in a new season, being in a new environment, being in a new phase of wellness, etc.
I hope you enjoyed this post and found it interesting. Also if you like my content it would mean the world to me if you would also subscribe to my YouTube channel, my Pinterest, and my TikTok account. On YouTube, I have the most inspirational content from Lifestyle Design posts to Digital "open when..." letters to boost your moods. I also keep a copy of my podcast episodes (which is also available on Spotify). I decided that I am honoring what feels right to me and continuously working on building the life of my dreams and helping others do the same. Don’t forget to share this if you feel inspired and I will have more content for you soon.
Until next time butterflies 🦋
Xoxo,
Lay 💋
Summer Prep: Intentions, Ins & Out, and Mid-Year Check-in
Episode Description:
It is about to be the 6th month of 2024. June is soon on the way and while most people wait until the end of June or early July to do a mid-year check-in, there is no harm in starting early. Astrologically speaking we are now in Gemini season and with the recent full moon in Sagittarius, Alayjah shares her summer intentions, what she wants to welcome in the season, and what she's taking out of her life. She also does a half-year recap about her years 1 and 2 while using the 12-week year productivity system. Real conversations about the twenty-something experience.
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Music by Remil - Evening Tea - https://thmatc.co/?l=DFECB5D4
Section | Timestamp | Notes |
Introduction | 00:00 |
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Setting Intentions for the Summer | 03:51 |
|
Ins and outs | 19:24 |
|
Midyear Review | 39:25 |
|
Card Pull | 48:14 |
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What I'm grateful for | 51:50 |
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