Signs you lost your spark and the secret to getting it back
- Lay Jordan
- 4 days ago
- 6 min read
Episode No. 40
Where to listen:
Have you ever been going through the motions of life, and then suddenly it hit you? That you no longer recognize the person you once were?
Losing your spark happens so often whether it’s that you are trying to accomplish this big goal that you put it on top of everything even your own well-being, in a relationship that may have started good but holding together started to felt more one-sided or maybe you had this huge death in a family that have you questioning everything you know about life and what’s important.
In Episode 40 of A Little Atypical, the last one of 2024, I shared my biggest takeaway of the year. If you haven’t listened to it, you can find all the links to the episode at the top of the page to get a better idea of the concept before continuing to read, but I wanted to use the show notes to talk about the unspoken reality of losing your spark.
When you lose your spark, sometimes we try to get back to who we are, but many times it’s hard to get back to that version of yourself because that was you before the experience. For better or worse, we can’t undo experiences as much as we want to. We can’t forget them, and ignoring them doesn’t help us. So to regain that spark, that flame in us, it’s not so much about being the person again. The secret is calling out what made you feel like yourself in general and finding ways to practice that in your new post-experience.
So, while the podcast episode focused more on the mental and emotional aspects of regaining your spark, here is my list of actionable things to do to regain your spark.
Actionable ways to regain your spark
Make a list of things you enjoyed as far back as you can remember.
What did you enjoy doing up until this point? You can separate it into things you did alone and things you did with others. This can also help you understand it was the action itself or was enjoying it about the person/ people you were with. Is there a pattern of enjoyment? Like, are your interests mostly about creativity, physical activity, intellectual pursuits, social connections, technical skills, nature and environment, culinary, travel/exploration, and collection/curation? If there is a pattern, it’s probably something that creates a sense of fulfillment and knowing that can make you explore old hobbies or introduce yourself to new ones. Remember, hobbies make you whole. They aren’t a “childish thing” and you don’t have to sacrifice your personality to be considered an adult.
Do a depletion removal or set firm boundaries around the things and people that contribute to the list of yourself
Anything that depletes your energy or makes you dims your light, remove it from your life. For some things, it’s easier said than done, so if it is not realistic to cut those things out, set firm boundaries around those things.
Do self-concept work
The brief explanation of this is that self-concept work is understanding who you are at your core - your values, beliefs, and what truly matters to you. It involves self-reflection exercises, journaling about your identity separate from roles and responsibilities, and actively questioning whether your current life aligns with your authentic self. This helps you differentiate between who you've become versus who you want to be. Episodes 47, 48, and 49 of A Little Atypical give an introduction to identity work.
Anything you interpret for special occasions only, start incorporating it into your daily life.
Celebrating life and expressing gratitude every day reminds you that being alive and you being you is special enough to wear the outfits you're saving, or pamper yourself with the skincare you bought, or use that expensive fragrance that you love. You don’t have to limit when you get to feel happy about life. It doesn’t have to be in big ways, but anyway you can, celebrate.
Take your self-nurturing seriously
So self-nurturing is essentially all the things that are the non-negotiable things that help you function. This includes hygiene, health (mental and physical), rest, energy management, nutritional eating, etc. When you take care of these basic needs consistently, you create a strong foundation for yourself. This means not skipping meals because you're busy, not compromising on sleep to finish "just one more thing," and not putting off medical check-ups. When you prioritize these fundamental needs, you're better equipped to handle life's challenges and maintain your spark.
The Next Version of You is Not the Enemy
Change is scary, especially when it comes to who we are as a person. Sometimes, regaining your spark feels like a battle between who you were and who you are now. But here's the thing - the next version of you isn't trying to replace the old you, it's trying to build upon your experiences.
Your spark isn't gone, it's just waiting for you to add new dimensions to it. The key is to embrace the evolution while holding onto the essence of what makes you, well, you.
Remember, losing your spark isn't permanent, and regaining it doesn't mean going backwards. It's about taking all those pieces that made you shine before and finding new ways to let them sparkle in your current reality. So don't fear the next chapter - it might just be the one where you shine the brightest.
I hope you enjoyed this post and found it interesting. Also, if you like my content, it would mean the world to me if you would also subscribe to my YouTube channel, my Pinterest, and my TikTok account. On YouTube, I have the most inspirational content from Lifestyle Design posts to Digital "open when..." letters to boost your mood. I also keep a copy of my podcast episodes (which is also available on Spotify). I decided that I am honoring what feels right to me and continuously working on building the life of my dreams and helping others do the same. Don’t forget to share this if you feel inspired, and I will have more content for you soon.
Until next time, butterflies 🦋 Sincerely yours.
Xoxo,
Lay 💋
What Inspired This Episode:
The inspiration behind this post comes from my personal journey of losing and rediscovering my spark. I first noticed this feeling of disconnect in 2022, but it wasn't until the end of 2023 that I reached my breaking point. I tried to push through by maintaining the same routines and patterns, which ultimately led to burnout in February 2024.
From March 2024 onwards, I embarked on a journey of rebuilding myself. This process wasn't easy - I struggled with feelings of shame, believing that taking steps back to rebuild meant I was regressing. The external judgments from others led to constant self-comparison, making the journey even more challenging.
However, by the end of the year, my perspective shifted entirely. Despite external circumstances, I found myself feeling excited about life again. This transformation wasn't about returning to who I was before, but about embracing who I was becoming.
This experience taught me that sometimes losing your spark isn't just about feeling lost - it's about creating space for a new, brighter flame to emerge. And that's exactly why I wanted to share these insights with you.
Episode Description:
In this heartfelt episode, we're diving deep into the journey of rediscovering and rekindling that inner spark that makes life vibrant and meaningful. As we bid farewell to 2024, join me for an intimate conversation about personal growth, resilience, and the power of renewed energy.
We'll explore:
Key moments from 2024 that shaped our perspective
Understanding what it means to lose and find your spark
Practical strategies for maintaining momentum in 2025
The importance of intentional energy management
Creating a vision for your most energized self
Whether you're feeling stuck, seeking inspiration, or ready to amplify your existing momentum, this episode serves as your personal pep talk and strategic guide for channeling positive energy into the new year.
Perfect for anyone looking to start 2025 with renewed purpose and enthusiasm. Let's harness the lessons of the past year and transform them into fuel for our brightest chapter yet.
📌 Key Takeaway: Your spark isn't just about motivation—it's about connecting with your authentic self and channeling that energy into creating the life you envision.
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Music by Remil - Evening Tea - https://thmatc.co/?l=DFECB5D4
Section | Timestamp | Notes |
Introduction | 00:00 | -Last episode of the year -Proud stuck to creating as consistently as possible this year -Food for thought |
Biggest Takeaway of the year | 01:16 | -Mainly accomplished health goals -However, other accomplishments popped up -Re-establishing things I have forgotten when I lost myself -Resentment grew in the process of losing yourself |
What helped me get my spark back | 04:58 | -Changing perspective on trying / learning -Being open and honest -Faith |
What I want to bring into the new year with me | 07:36 | -Episodes 38-40 highlight everything I want to carry with me into the New Year -Check in with yourself constantly; don't lose sight of who you are |
Card Pull | 09:52 | -Animal deck -Butterfly |
What I'm grateful for | 11:51 | -Myself (for the way I keep evolving and not quitting) |
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