Nov 197 min read

The Reality of Navigating your 20s

Episode No. 21

Where to listen:

What Inspired this Episode:

This podcast episode was born from a deeply personal place - the feeling of being behind in my 20s. It's a common struggle, but one that feels uniquely isolating. Even those who speak about navigating their 20s often seem miles ahead, not necessarily in terms of material possessions (though that's certainly part of the comparison), but in other crucial aspects. They appear to possess an effortless desire to socialize, an enviable fearlessness in making mistakes, and a sense of self that I found myself grappling to define. My own journey, shaped by an upbringing that emphasized early maturity, led to an unexpected identity crisis in my 20s. The weight of expectations clashed with the reality of still figuring things out, creating a dissonance that many of us silently battle. If you've found yourself nodding along, know that you're not alone in this struggle. After listening to this episode, I encourage you to scroll down and dive into the article below. It expands on these themes, offering deeper insights and practical strategies for navigating the complex landscape of your 20s.

Topics explored:

How to find your path in life in your 20s?
Overcoming comparison anxiety in your 20s
Best ways to focus on personal growth in your twenties
Dealing with social media pressure in your 20s
How to set meaningful goals in your twenties?
Navigating career choices in your 20s
Building self-confidence in your twenties
Managing expectations vs. reality in your 20s
Finding purpose and passion in your twenties
Balancing personal life and career goals in your 20s
How to build and maintain healthy relationships in your twenties
Coping with uncertainty and change in your 20s
Establishing healthy habits and self-care routines in your twenties
Learning to set boundaries in personal and professional life
Embracing failure and learning from mistakes in your twenties
Developing emotional intelligence in your 20s
Balancing adventure and responsibility in your 20s

Episode Description:

This episode is a letter to the 20-something-year-olds who feel left out in the conversation of navigating their 20s. This is for introverts and loners who have to learn how to socialize, build support systems, and maintain them. The people who have to stay at their parents' house through college and maybe some years after. People who have anxiety about not accomplishing things fast enough. People who want to be that girl, guy, or person but their current life doesn't have the most ideal starting point. Sometimes wellness content feels unrelatable because your experiences aren't highlighted because of the lack of awareness but even if you aren't where you want to be, you will get there. This a reminder and a letter to you. Everyone deserves to remember that wellness and personal development are not a one-size-fits-all.

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Music by Remil - Evening Tea - https://thmatc.co/?l=DFECB5D4

Section	Timestamp	Notes
Introduction	00:00	-Love content about being 20-something but also hate engaging with it -Developing traits that you didn't get to in your formative years
Hardships	01:50	-Growing up faster -The dark side to being mature faster -Being restricted when you were younger -Learning to be okay with needing help
The problem with growing up fast/ restricted	04:00	-The effect of growing up fast -having hobbies as an adult -Guilt to ask for things -Being in my head
Examples of the underrepresented 20-something-year-old experience	07:45	-Redefining success -Understanding new personality -Tone policing -Learning to accept themselves
Card Pull	11:55	-Animal spirit Deck -Earthworm
What I'm grateful for	14:18	-Youtube Playlists

BONUS CONTENT:

How to be comfortable focusing on your path

The podcast mentioned earlier served more as a pep talk and reminder, so I would like to further the conversation by discussing how to be comfortable following your own path. Many people in their twenties struggle with this due to the advancements we've made as a society. As much as I love technology and how it creates new opportunities, I also believe we are not mentally equipped to handle this much access to new information.

In some ways, media, especially social media, which is supposed to be fun and a way to stay connected to others, has become the comparison Olympics. People share their highlights because it manages others' perception of them (and of course, in general, oversharing puts you at risk because once you put something out there, it's trackable and very easy to recover even if you delete it). However, even though we mentally know that what we see from any person is curated, it doesn't stop us from playing comparison games, whether that's with someone we went to school with or a complete stranger across the ocean.

We develop these parasocial relationships and experience real negative emotions over something that isn't fully real:

Jealousy.

Resentment.

Bitterness.

Guilt.

Shame.

Anxiety.

Emotional regulation and thought bias are not things we regularly make time to learn about, so when we experience these emotions, we feel them heavily and harshly without being able to look at them objectively (nor are we offered the gift of time to be able to process the feelings before reacting). My biggest lesson regarding navigating my 20s was this:

Block out the noise and keep pushing foward

In terms of my life, I have been feeling like a late bloomer. My college experience didn't include living in a dorm (which was a financial decision that I don't regret, but sometimes I can't help wondering if a huge aspect of my development was missing), and it wasn't possible to even do a semester abroad due to post-COVID regulations at my school. I still haven't fully had an independent stage in my life, and when I see content like "living alone in my 1st apartment" or "how I got my dream job while in my ___" or people getting engaged to the person they were with, even though mentally I know other people's milestones are theirs alone, my brain shifts to this self-judgment place.

It feels stronger when you go from not being able to see yourself living past a specific age to somewhere along the way, something shifts in your life to give you hope. Ages 11 and up were such a negative experience I couldn't see past age 16. Then when I turned 16, it was like so many things flipped, and what was already bad got progressively worse. But then a surprise came into my life, and it was like a snowball effect of gaining hope. I got into the college I said I always wanted to go to, I was in my first relationship, I was happy with my friend group, and once I was in college, I was excited about learning again. With the internships I was able to get, it felt like my life was on track.

Surprisingly, I would name 2019 through 2021 as some of my favorite years. The end of 2021 was when things felt like they were going downhill. Getting COVID for the first time, the pressure of returning to school, and just the diminishing of my close relationships. The jump between 2021 and 2022 was insane because 2021 was full of so much celebration and excitement, and then in 2022, there was a death within my family, I was struggling with school and my mental health, family dynamics were changing, and overall it was pretty lonely. In 2023, it was like I was trying to get by because it was my graduation year, but things were still crumbling down until they weren't.

I appreciate 2024. I was 22 for most of the year (aka my golden birthday age), and I was healing from situations I didn't even realize how deeply I was affected by. The combination of taking life so seriously, avoiding mistakes (perfectionism) instead of embracing them as lessons, and struggling to let go/surrender to have faith that what I lose serves a purpose - Burnout was bound to happen, and I am glad this crisis happened sooner rather than later.

The key takeaways from my little tale are the following:

Getting to know yourself is always a good starting point. We are always encouraged to follow a specific path that may or may not be for us. To know yourself is to love yourself.
Ask yourself, "What do you want to succeed in first?" (There are all different types of goals you may have in your lifetime; it's unrealistic to do everything at once, so prioritize.)
Put boundaries in place to block out the noise. We are constantly bombarded with opinions stated as facts about what we should and shouldn't do to be "XYZ". Digital boundaries are just as important. You can't control what other people choose to post, but you can control if you see it by blocking them, updating your settings to block certain terms, and hopefully, they won't appear on your feed.
If it's something unavoidable, then acknowledge why you feel how you feel. What about the situation is triggering you? What does this teach you about yourself? Is this a sore spot you had awareness of before?
The only things that feel like a waste of time are things you didn't desire in the first place. When something is a means to an end with a goal we fully desire, the steps it takes to get there feel more tolerable because we know there's a reason for them.

Adulthood is so different for everyone.

There's no one-size-fits-all path or timeline for success. Some people might find their passion early and pursue it relentlessly, while others may take longer to discover what truly drives them. Some may prioritize career growth, while others focus on personal relationships or experiences.

What's important is recognizing that your journey is uniquely yours. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your personal growth, goals, and values. Embrace the idea that adulthood is a continuous process of learning, adapting, and evolving.

Remember, it's not about reaching certain milestones by a specific age, but about living a life that feels authentic and fulfilling to you. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your own progress, and trust in your own timing. Your path may look different from others, and that's not just okay – it's exactly as it should be.

I hope you enjoyed this post and found it interesting. Also if you like my content it would mean the world to me if you would also subscribe to my YouTube channel, my Pinterest, and my TikTok account. On YouTube, I have the most inspirational content from Lifestyle Design posts to Digital "open when..." letters to boost your moods. I also keep a copy of my podcast episodes (which is also available on Spotify). I decided that I am honoring what feels right to me and continuously working on building the life of my dreams and helping others do the same. Don’t forget to share this if you feel inspired and I will have more content for you soon.